Behind These Eyes - November 2001

Tuesday, 6 November

Uh oh.

Nastygram from the Massachusetts Department of Revenue today. They don't like my tax return, for several reasons, most noticeable of which is this: If my move to the UK is temporary then I am still fully liable to MA tax. This would appear to be the first attempt at putting the squeeze on.

The more I think about it, the more it astonishes me that the states should be able to get away with something so breathtakingly indefensible as taxing someone after they move out. If MA got its way, they'd cheerfully continue taxing me, in the UK, on UK income, for the next ten years. Twenty. Hell, forever! Excuse me, I'd like to ask, in payment for what exactly? I'm not using MA roads, MA schools, MA emergency services...why, my goodness, I'm not using anything in MA. I'm not even breathing the air.

If I had moved to another state instead of the UK, it'd be obvious to everyone that I wouldn't owe taxes to MA any more; what's the big difference here? Well, duh, it's that MA figures that if nobody else has their fingers in the pie, they might as well! I resent being a pie. To think that the colonists rebelled over a single-digit tax on one product! Granted it was tea, so I can see their point, but still. Pay MA something like $50,000 over the course of the rest of my life? For nothing? Um...why?

(Hey, before you start congratulating yourself on not living in Taxachusetts, forget it; this isn't a MA thing. All the states do it, yours included. So there.)

Fortunately for me, there's certainly no way they could claim that my move to the UK is temporary, so this rant may all be pointless. It's just that the sheer unmitigated chutzpah of it all makes me cranky!

I don't consider myself a MA resident on sabbatical; there's no question in my mind that I would never take up residence in MA again if I did leave the UK; I have no ties there and I hate the climate anyway. But these are intangibles. Obviously what I should have done is briefly move to Florida before coming here. A logistical nightmare, yes, but it would have been nice to have the question settled to the satisfaction of the bureaucracies.

Created at 00:07

Saturday, 10 November

It is in your interests to post the completed form 4-5 weeks before the last day of your leave to enter or remain, but not earlier than that. Applications made too early may be delayed or refused.

...65% of cases are decided within 3 weeks of receipt. If it is not possible to complete your application within that sort of timescale under our fast track procedures, your case will be given a Home Office reference number and allocated to the appropriate casework team. If you would like to receive an acknowledgement with the Home Office reference number at that stage, please enter the address to which the acknowledgement should be sent in box A and the applicant's details in box B, together with your own reference (if you have one) in the space indicated by * below.

--Form SET(M), Application for Indefinite Leave to Remain

Hmm.

A slight snagette, as Mike would say.

I'm here on a visa which lasts a year. At the end of that year, I have to apply for Indefinite Leave to Remain--much like a green card. The application form stipulates that I should apply when I have 4-5 weeks left on my visa, and it's quite clear about not applying much before that. It's also pretty definitive on the matter of how long I should expect the application process to take.

So, I posted my application off to the Home Office such that it was delivered on the 3rd of October.

Three weeks went by. Then four. Then five.

I got a bit concerned, since I was expecting to get back that acknowledgement they promised if the process was going to take longer than 3 weeks. What if they never received my application? But as they suggested, I'd posted it Recorded Delivery, so I was able to get confirmation from the post office that they had, indeed, delivered it somewhere on 3 October.

I found their enquiries phone number on their web site and called it, but as I think I mentioned a couple of entries ago, it just apologises and disconnects every time.

We're now heading into week 6 and I was definitely starting to wonder what was going on. So was my company, as they'd kind of like to send me to Germany and Singapore and other various entertaining destinations.

Finally, yesterday, when I'd just about decided that the line was not actually staffed and had been left with the wrong answering message activated, one of my calls got through!

"I'm sorry, you're not in the system."

Urk! Visions of lost applications dance in my head...

"Is there any way you can at least confirm that my application was received?"
"Do you have the tracking number?" I did, so I gave it.
"...Yes, it's been received, but it hasn't been processed yet."

I pointed out that the application form itself claims that most are processed within three weeks, and asked, if that's not really the case, what would a more realistic expectation be?

"Two to three months."

This is the slight snagette. On that schedule, I should get my passport back right around the time we're supposed to be in Florida. Or rather, I should say, we should get our passports back, because both of them had to be sent off with the application.

So the Florida trip is now in limbo. The real snag is that we need to know now whether we are going, as there are hotel and rental car and many other arrangements that must be made, or the whole thing cancelled if we're not. If we don't have the passports back within a couple of weeks (or at least a plausible assertion that we will get them back in time), we will probably have to cancel.

All of which sounds rather hopeless. But all is not yet lost! The company, as I mentioned, wants to get going on migrating the other offices, so they take a rather dim view of this delay. Fortunately, the company, having offices on both sides of the pond, routinely swaps staff around, and therefore is accustomed to dealing with immigration-related matters. They will be only too happy to make some noise on my behalf, maybe even prod the process if they can. They, presumably, have access to phone numbers besides the general public enquiries line. But I won't know how much they can help, if at all, until at least Wednesday, as the entire HR department (which normally deals with immigration issues) is out with some kind of Martian Death Flu until at least Wednesday.

So, watch this space.

Created at 23:52

Sunday, 18 November

No improvement in the bureaucracy situation. The new developments are almost uniformly not promising.

The HR department contacted the law firm they use for UK immigration matters, with the following results: (1) they confirmed that three months is a more realistic timescale (in fact it may be slightly optimistic); (2) they could apply to have my application expedited, but in the Grand Scheme of Things, the company's need to send me to Germany is pretty small potatoes and probably won't carry much weight; (3) they could apply to get my passport back so that I could go, but agreed that this would result in my application being cancelled and having to resubmit it.

This dismal confirmation didn't fill me with cheer, so I thought maybe it was time to retain some legal advice of our own. After all, aside from one brief consultation at the very beginning of things, I've been doing this entirely based on our own researches and understandings of how things work, and for all I know we could have the process wrong. But then I thought, hey, the company already has immigration lawyers; how about I just talk to them? Which the company agreed I could do. I piled up a list of questions (might as well cover everything I could think of) and called on Friday.

Yes indeed, three months is still the average waiting time. But the lawyer was able to shed some light on why this is. An application for Indefinite Leave to Remain is a much more serious matter than any of the other steps I've taken so far. This is England's last easy chance to get rid of me. They consider these applications more carefully than any other.
I asked what, in her experience, is the most common range of application processing times (i.e. I don't care about the one statistical anomaly that took four years). She said that three weeks is the absolute fastest she's seen (and it was expedited for serious business reasons), and that six months is the normal outside of the range. She has one client right now whose application has been at the Home Office since June.
She confirmed our suspicion that the IND is deeply snowed under right now. The events of 11 September have made everyone apply closer scrutiny to potential immigrants. They are also the same pool of staff who handle asylum requests--and the UK has an enormous backlog of asylum requests (enough that the asylum problem frequently makes the news). To make matters worse, a complete overhaul of the asylum system has just been announced. The people processing my application are desperately overwhelmed right now.
She was as baffled as we are as to why they continue to publish the 65%-in-three-weeks statistic in their application forms. She described this as "fiction".
She reassured me that I'm not an "overstayer". As long as my application was received by the Home Office before my visa ran out, I'm in a sort of grace period until they finish with it. I can legally stay here, and can legally continue employment. However, if we were to withdraw my application, my legal right to be here would terminate immediately and I'd have to leave. Pronto.
She said that at least once they do begin working on my application, it will probably go fairly quickly, because it's straightforward. There are other avenues one can apply for ILR from, e.g. work permit, or just being in the country a long time. In my case, as the spouse of a British citizen, they'd have to have a compelling reason to deny it. She also said that--although it works out conveniently for me, it's a sad comment on the state of the world--it will also help greatly that I'm coming from the US, not a third-world country.
It may still be worthwhile for the company to put together a (gentle) letter requesting (very, very politely) that my application be expedited (or rather, for the lawyers do so on the company's behalf). I will have to discuss this with Simon on Monday.
One tiny ray of hope (which is almost worse than no hope at all): She said she'd called the Home Office earlier in the week to inquire after the status of another client's application, and they had told her that all applications received between the 1st and 9th of October had now been opened and assigned to case workers. If that's right, it means my application is now assigned to someone. Whether that means it's being actively worked on, or is just somewhere in their queue of 47 new cases, I don't know.
A bit off-topic, but I thought as long as I had a lawyer on the phone, why not? I asked whether I'm going about this, broadly speaking, the right way. She agreed that the process I'd followed (spouse visa, wait a year, application for ILR) was right. She also confirmed that after I get ILR, there is nothing more I have to do; I'm done.

I also asked about citizenship--basically, what would be the point of getting it? She actually had reasons beyond the ones we'd already worked out for ourselves:

With citizenship, I could get a British passport (which I knew), which would allow me to move freely through the EU (which I didn't know). Without one I'd have to go through immigration control at every border, which would be something of a bummer if Mike and I wanted to travel in Europe. He'd waltz through, then have to sit and wait. Every time. And there are a lot of borders in Europe!
A bit more serious, this one: Note the name of what I'm applying for--it is indefinite leave to remain. Not permanent, not irrevocable. It can be withdrawn at any point. Presumably there'd need to be a good reason, but it can be done.
Non-citizens don't have the same legal rights or protections as citizens. Like most countries, the UK is hurriedly drafting draconian new legislation to protect itself from terrorists--and a lot of it has special provisions for immigrants. In our brave new world, countries aren't especially fond of people who change countries. And that, I'm afraid, includes your intrepid narrator.

So, to sum up, we are still in limbo. There's a chance, just the tiniest squeak of an outside chance, that it will be processed just barely in time. Moreover, we can't cancel the airplane tickets, although it may be possible to reschedule them. So we might as well wait and see what happens. We'll have to go forward with plans as though either one could happen. That may get a bit tricky.

We meant to do a lot of christmas preparation this weekend. But this brought up the question of what do we want, when people ask? (As people will naturally ask me what Mike wants, and vice versa.) This led to thinking that I really should update the various buying queues, but that led to me thinking that a list of what authors I tend to follow might be useful as well...which led to, well, a weekend of extensive fiddling with the site. Including, remarkably, a page about what authors I tend to read!

Meanwhile, great progress at work: the UK GW migration is officially done. I sent out a fun email on Friday, saying basically, if you're still in Exchange, your mailbox will stop working in the next few days; contact the Help Desk at that point to find out how to get into your new GW mailbox. We do still have two people who have ignored all calls for migration. They don't answer emails, they don't return calls. It's also possible that there are mailboxes for people we think are gone, who aren't really gone. This is less likely, as Exchange does show when a user last accessed their mailbox, but there may be people who rarely read their email but are nevertheless still around. It's not always possible to know for sure, with the mix of people coming and going between offices and countries, and people who work exclusively in the field, and contractors who aren't officially tracked by HR.

Anyway, we had a celebratory dinner at Tampopo on Friday--me and Mike, Simon and his wife, Dave and a woman visiting from the Dallas office. It was wonderful. There are 9 possible starters on their menu; Simon ordered one of each except one that we all agreed we weren't interested in. So, 8 starters among 6 people. We got to try just about every starter they offer. And I got a different main meal than I did last time, and it was just as good as the other one. Sigh!

Created at 21:39

Wednesday, 21 November

So, last night I get home and Mike shows me a little card from the Royal Mail, saying I have an item they couldn't deliver because it requires a signature.

Naaaaah.

It couldn't be.

...Could it?

...Naaaaaah!

No way it could be my ILR application, finished. Just two weeks ago they hadn't even opened it! We definitely didn't want to get our hopes up, only to have them dashed.

But then, what else could it be? Hmmm, how about a summons from Massachusetts for arguing with me about taxes? Or something CNE-related from Novell? They always send things requiring a signature. Or an early christmas present that has been sent in a way that requires a signature? Or...oooh, bad thought, what if it is something from the Home Office, but not a finished application--maybe a notification that I've missed out an item they require. Come to think of it, I don't remember seeing any mention of a fee, and I definitely didn't send a cheque. Could I have overlooked it? <frantically checking the application form> No, definitely nothing there about a fee. Nothing on the IND web site, either.

So, we got to wait and wonder.

This morning I hustled right down to the sorting office where packages are collected. They brought it out and yes, it was indeed familiar! (I had to send them the envelope to return it in, if I wanted it sent any way other than regular post.) I signed for it, got in the car, and tore it open.

...Tore it open.

...I said, tore...it...open!

Damn these modern plasticky envelopes anyway! The sticky stuff wouldn't unstick and the plastic wouldn't tear. You really need scissors, but I wasn't about to toss it idly on the back seat, drive casually home and then open it. There was no question of giving up. Eventually I fought my way in and found---

Passports. Glorious, wonderful passports! One of which has a spiffy new green stamp in it entitled GIVEN LEAVE TO REMAIN IN THE UNITED KINGDOM FOR AN INDEFINITE PERIOD. There was also a letter telling me everything I need to know about ILR status.

So, by some bureaucratic miracle, the passports are back, just when we'd given up on them. The trip to Florida is on again! Of greater, if less immediate importance, this means I've now cleared the last mandatory bureaucratic hurdle. There isn't anything more that I have to do in order to stay and work here. In a few years we could consider the question of citizenship, but that's purely optional.

I'm done! I'm here! Woohoo!

I emailed the immigration lawyer we met with just yesterday, to tell her the news. She called me to express her own amazement. She has no idea what went right either but I'm not about to argue. I asked whether it would be considered improper to send an enormous hamper of Thornton's finest to the Home Office, but sadly, she said that Home Office staff are not allowed to accept gifts.

Much ado about nothing, in the end.

Created at 22:27

Thursday, 22 November

For nearly a year now, we've been eyeing a Thing. (Mike even longer, because he already knew about the Thing before then.) We had a look at the Thing web site way back when, but the company had just been bought by someone else and we were afraid the Thing would be discontinued, or changed so much that if we bought one, ours would quickly become unsupported. Also, the Thing had barely come out of the idea stage at that point; they were barely past their first real production model.

But it's such a great Thing, not least in how the original company presented it. They even had a separate geek site where you could see the evolution of the proto-Things built during the early design phases.

And the idea of the Thing! It fits perfectly into how we do things. Much better than the more mainstream options. Plus it seems appropriate that we, of all people, should be on the cutting edge in this area. I mean, if we don't do it, who will? It's up to us to make sure this technology thrives.

So, we really wanted a Thing. But they're expensive, especially because we'd have to have it installed, and buy another semi-expensive thing before we could use the Thing. Total cost was too high, so we shelved it. Also, there is a problem with installation; we can't have it installed quite as we'd like to, so there is a downside there.

But we didn't stop thinking about the Thing...

We're not very sentimental, so last year, rather than try to figure out the Perfect Gift for each other, we bought ourselves a joint present that we knew we wanted but probably wouldn't have bought otherwise. Back in oh, September or October, we had a happy thought: Maybe this year we'd buy ourselves a Thing! So we checked again on their web site, but they were still horribly expensive.

Sigh.

Yesterday, in the spirit of purest optimism, we had a look again, mostly because the whole christmas shopping topic is on the front burner right now, and lo! Massive price reductions! The Thing had dropped in price by about 40%!

Well!

Can we accept the installation problem? We think we can. Are we OK with having to buy the other thing before we can use the Thing? Upon reflection, we are. So we looked at each other and grinned, and very nearly clicked the last button to order a Thing.

But then we thought, oh-oh, what if Things aren't in stock? What if they don't ship it until we're in Florida, and it sits around uncollected for a few days, and they send it back? That's a fiasco we didn't want to deal with. So today I called the Thing company and asked whether they had our model of Thing in stock. They claim that they do! In fact, they even said that if we ordered it today, they'd ship it today, and we could well have it tomorrow!

Tomorrow!

It was too irresistible. We bought it.

Yay! We bought a Thing! New toy, new toy, new toy! Tomorrow! (Maybe!)

Happy christmas to us!

Created at 23:40

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